Tantra is nothing like porn. And the sex you watch in porn is nothing like Tantric sex in the real world. Tantra and porn are worlds apart when it comes to connection, intimacy, and the shared pleasure experiences between partners. Would you believe me if I told you that learning Tantra and tantric techniques could fix your addiction to porn? Would you be interested in knowing how your natural abilities can help you to experience levels of ecstasy you never thought possible and that can change your outlook on everything sexual?
This article isn't going to be a big anti-porn rant. As such, I would like to declare straight away that I don't believe porn is morally wrong, offensive, or an evil creation out to corrupt us all. Plenty of people enjoy watching porn, and many couples use it for excitement and to enjoy new experiences. And there is nothing wrong with that.
That said, however, it is obvious there are some malevolent parts to porn that do leave negative impacts on men, women, and couples and their interpretation of what sex is and what it means to be sensual and intimate.
Things such as hardcore BDSM, violence, exploitation, and anything concerning underage minors are the easily identifiable ones and all too easy to pick on, but there are some other less obvious but equally sinister issues as well.
Looks Are Everything
The main focus of porn is arousing stimulation in the body to excite you. Visuals are everything. This then inserts subconscious messages into our brains that our sexuality and our ability to feel sexual all hinge on what our bodies look like and how attractive we are.
If you were to believe most porn movies, to experience the best sex you need to be young, good-looking, fit, toned, have perky large breasts, and have a massive cock, because if you don't then you won't be a very good lover.
Unfortunately, this creates big confidence and self-worth issues for everyone involved, especially those who do not consider themselves to be youthful, fit, perky, and packing large versions of anything.
And even for those that do, they frequently do not view themselves as attractive or large or bouncy enough. In the end, everyone feels unhappy and unsatisfied with who they are.
It's All About Giving To And Pleasing The Other Person
Porn is all about one person pleasing and satisfying the other person, more often than not a woman pleasuring a man. Of course, longing to please and pleasure your partner is a beautiful thing. But this type of desire isn't what is portrayed in porn.
What porn does do and does well, is presenting one side that shows it is the only thing that is important. Porn would like us to believe that submitting to another and bringing them to their climax is all that matters, and what the other person may desire or would like is irrelevant or certainly not as important.
But is there anything wrong with that? Can't one person be satisfied and enjoy giving to another? On the surface, no there isn't anything wrong with it. However, it is the unconscious imprints on our minds that can have us accepting - especially if you have consumed porn since your teenage years - that this is the natural and only way to approach sex and lovemaking. You end up assuming if you can't excite and bring your partner to orgasm, then there is little to be gained by even bothering to be intimate.
The end result is performance anxiety and stress on both sides.
That Establishing Connection And Sensual Intimacy Are Secondary To Getting Off
Porn doesn't care much about establishing connection, intimacy, or sensuality. It is all about getting two (or more) people together physically as quickly as possible. Yes, some people will say that porn has a plot and story arc, but this isn't the connection and intimacy I am talking about.
And don't get me wrong, I am not that much of a bore that I think having some hot, heavy, and pumping porno-style sex isn't fun and exciting. Heck no. But I look at these things over the longer term and how it sends messages to our subconscious and how it programs our thoughts and desires about what is natural sex and what intimacy and sensuality are all about.
And the consistent message with porn is that connection and intimacy don't matter but getting off does.
Performance Anxiety - That This Is The Best We Can Do
The saddest thing is that porn has us assuming that this is all there is to sex. We end up believing that we understand what sex is all about, and that porn is merely a projection of what everyone is doing or how they do it.
But this is not the case.
Unless we are shown otherwise, most people only hit about 10% of their sexual potential. Our exposure to certain types of sex and intimacy, often at a young and impressionable age, can set the benchmark of what our desires are, how we enjoy pleasure, and what we deem as natural and normal.
It's like being given a novel with only half of the pages left inside the cover. You might be really good at reading the pages you are given, and you may even memorize them and know them back-to-front. You may even think you know how this story goes from just the pages you have read. But there is still half a story you are missing out on, and this makes a big difference.
None of this is your fault. Most people don't know half the story is missing unless someone lets them in on the surprise.
Porn keeps you in the dark, keeps you stuck in that you-only-know-what-you-know place.
How Can Tantra Help With Porn Addiction?
For starters, Tantra will not only show you the other half of the storybook, but it will also teach you how to read and journey into its world.
People Are Much More Than A Physical Body
Our physical forms are not the sexiest parts of the human body. Yes, they are the easiest to identify and they certainly are what catches our initial attention, but physicality isn't the most erotic part.
A person who is conscious of their sensuality has a positive and alluring aura about themselves that is undeniably enchanting and mesmerizing. You will know this type of person whenever you are in their presence. Just a look from them or a gentle touch is enough to enthrall and leave you helplessly charmed. They will take you into their inner realm, where you will share space, energy, breath, and touch together, sending pleasure and sensation throughout your bodies.
And they are capable of such magical things that it makes little difference what their body looks like.
Pleasure Is More Intense When It Is Shared
Humans are both physical beings and energetic beings. This is why touch is so important to people because when we touch, we share a connection on an energetic and physical plane. When we touch our partners, when we do so with intention and sincerity, they will sense this connection and bond with us more deeply. Genuine touch feels different than touch for the sake of touching or just going through the motions to please them.
When you are completely in the present moment, energy flows from your fingertips (or any other body parts) and penetrates your partner's whole body.
As your partner's body reacts to this, the pleasure returns to you, and the roles of giver and receiver begin to distort, finally merging into a shared experience. Regardless of who is doing what, there is just mutual sensation and delight.
Connection And Energy Are Everything
People are designed to bond on a deep level with one another. Human beings do not function properly in the absence of a strong sense of connection. When someone is feeling detached and lacking connection with other people, we call it desperate or needy. But it is because we instinctively know deep down that we are capable of incredible connection.
Those times when we experience this incredible connection with another, everything in our life improves. The depression subsides, anxiety floats away, our confidence surges and our spark for living ignites. We don't worry and we long to be carefree. We notice the good things in life. We value one another. We cherish our moments. We feel a degree of contentment, fullness, and satisfaction that we do not feel when we are alone.
When someone is being Tantric, they are elevating connection. The reason for this is that connection precedes everything else when it comes to sexual play.
Try and imagine it as you need to bond to each other first before the sexual energy can flow between you. When you are aware of this, there becomes a genuine desire to let down barriers and allow each other inside to sincerely connect and completely feel one other.
Sex Is A Natural Energetic Multi-Dimensional Experience
When we put all that we truly are into our intimate encounters, we shift from having just physical sex to having an energetic experience that includes our emotions, feelings, thoughts, passion, intuition, presence, and a slew of other dimensions that you can't even define as a human, they just materialize for you.
The most remarkable part is none of this needs any fancy new-age techniques. It does not need a plethora of holistic approaches, complicated rituals, or specialized sex talents. It is quite natural and already installed within us; we have simply not opened it until now.
Does Tantra Want To Free The World From Porn?
No, not really. People love sex and sex is great. Sexual desire and sexual energy revitalize us and feed our life spark. Sexuality makes us feel so alive. And let's be candid for a moment: watching other people have sex can be very stimulating.
What Tantra seeks to achieve is to help heal real people and their real relationships. Learning how to connect with and be intimate with others empowers us to have very rewarding relationships with those around us. We form deeper bonds, and our encounters heal us and make us feel great about ourselves.
Porn certainly isn't going to go extinct, that much is true. Sure, for many people their interest in it may ebb and flow, perhaps even fade away. Once someone becomes awakened to what they are capable of, what their true potential is, what real intimacy is, and what sexual energy is about, and they experience the types of sexual experiences we have locked inside themselves, then porn will lose its lustre. Porn won't be able to lure and it won't be able to control.
Because deep down inside you will instinctively know there is no comparison between it and the sexual and intimate experiences you have lived.
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The information contained above is provided for entertainment purposes only. The contents of this article are not intended to amount to advice on your personal situation and you should not rely on any of the contents of this article. Professional advice should be obtained before taking or refraining from taking any action as a result of the contents of this article. The Writer and Shoshin Therapies disclaim all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this article.
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