The face we put on for the world always has a side we never show to others. I like to call this other side our "dark side". This is the side of us where we keep all the things we don't normally want other people to see or learn about ourselves.
Our dark side could be where we hold our anxiety, our stress, where we procrastinate, are lazy, selfish, or inconsiderate. Our dark side could be where we gamble, drink too much or binge eat unhealthy junk food. Or it could be the place where our anger, jealousy, depression, and loneliness all hide out.
The Hidden Benefits of Embracing Your Dark Side
But instead of taking the traditional approach and overcoming these negative things, what if we embraced them? What if we liked what was on our dark side and showed it to the world?
I know that sounds crazy. After all, it goes against pretty much all of our social conventions and personal development mantras that it is almost ridiculous. How dare I suggest you embrace a negative character trait! The goal is to hide these things, overcome them, be rid of them, and fix ourselves from ever having had to suffer from them in the first place.
How to Accept and Love Your Shadow
But instead of doing what you normally do, how about you:
- Be more accepting and sympathetic towards yourself by seeing these traits in a more positive light. By that I mean perhaps you are sad because you need to let that sadness wash over you. Or you could be tired and irritable because you may need to take some relaxation time. By viewing these traits in this context, we can come to view our dark side as not being bad, but as a way to overcome the struggles in our life.
- Rather than running away or blocking out a side of you that normally lives on the dark side, take a moment to open it up and sense it. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you need to bring to the surface and get out. Feel your anxiety, stress, or pain. Approach it with care, consideration, and love.
- Try not to be so critical of yourself whenever you fall back into your dark side. Don't beat yourself up about it, treat yourself to a little kindness instead. By loving yourself – and your faults – perhaps your dark side doesn't have to be so negative as it is simply showing the sides of you that you need to work on to improve the happiness in your life.
- Expose your dark side to the world and open it up to the light by confiding in someone else about it. Remember, often getting something off your chest works wonders for the healing process.
- Have a sense of humour about your dark side and laugh it off. Be jovial about it and share it freely with other people. Your dark side, much like everything else about you, is a part of who you are. Don't be embarrassed or ashamed of who you are. Openly sharing your dark side with others helps them relate to you better as you come across as more honest and personal.
Now I must confess that none of what I have written above is a 100% fix for anything and everything that may ail you. But what I have suggested will help you start to view yourself more softly and lovingly when you are forced to confront the thorny parts of yourself and life.
By at least attempting to embrace and love your dark side a little bit more, you will begin to go a long way toward loving and healing yourself as a whole.
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The information contained above is provided for entertainment purposes only. The contents of this article are not intended to amount to advice on your personal situation and you should not rely on any of the contents of this article. Professional advice should be obtained before taking or refraining from taking any action as a result of the contents of this article. The Writer and Shoshin Therapies disclaim all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this article.
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