Touch starvation, or touch deprivation, and having a longing desire to be touched by another person is a valid human need. Humans are social creatures, and we crave physical contact with other people. This type of touch need not be erotic or sexual. Even a friendly sociable touch can be a welcoming healing tool. Our progressively self-isolating society – through the advent of mobile devices and social media – is making the genuine act of touching and relating to another real human being an event that takes place less and less often as technology penetrates deeper and deeper into our lives.
You will most likely know if you have ever been touch starved or missing being touched by another person because of a deep longing and yearning, even a hunger sensation, that has you feeling deprived and empty. You know in your mind that you need to be touched, or the touch you are receiving is not enough.
How Touch is Important
When people go without touch for extended periods - this could be weeks, months, years, even decades - they can be overcome with profound feelings of alienation and separation from others that have the capacity over time to influence the energetic, emotional, and physical aspects of the body.
Aside from the benefits to our emotional and mental wellbeing, affectionate and friendly touch enhances the immune system, decreases stress, and produces extra "happy hormones" in the brain such as oxytocin and serotonin.
Does Touch Have to be Erotic or Sensual?
There are lots of examples of positive and wholesome touch: affectionate, compassionate, loving, and, naturally, erotic, and sensual touch. Touch may be intentional, accidental, or even unintended like standing close to someone in a queue or walking through a crowd. It can be decisively therapeutic and formal like a handshake, and it can be informal and laidback like back pats, high fives, holding hands, or cuddles and hugs.
Touch doesn't need to be erotic or sensual to provide positive benefits. Erotic and sensual touching are merely different types of touch. If the type of touch is positive and welcomed, then it is beneficial.
Positive touch is terrific for your emotional, mental, and physical health.
What Does Touch Starvation Feel Like?
When you have gone a long while without any physical human contact and you reach a point where touch starvation kicks in, you begin to feel unhappy, neglected, or depressed about not having enough touch in your life. You may have thoughts in your mind about how you haven't been touched in some time, or how you missed being touched, and how that makes you feel isolated, lonely, or not good enough for someone to want to touch.
When you are starved for touch, you may develop a melancholic outlook on life and your interactions and experiences with other people. You may also have that persistent yearning deep inside you that simply will not go away – especially in the close company of others.
It is almost as if your mind knows what the absence of touch is doing to your emotions and physical body and is trying its best to prompt you forward.
Why Do People Miss Out on Touch?
There are several explanations as to why some people miss out on touch and reach a point where they suffer from touch starvation. Life can get busy and get away from us. With so much in our modern world tugging at us in all directions - career, families, entertainment, social media – our energy, emotions, and attentiveness to relationships can be spread very thin. People can become so engrossed in life's needs, demands, and expectations, falling into the daily grind of keeping everyone and everything happy, that they don't have time for touch, or they don't feel they have the energy for it.
Touch suddenly becomes one more thing on their list of things they need to take care of.
In some instances, people can be so engrossed with their lives that they go without developing any close or intimate relationships for such a long time that they don't even realize it. They then tend to convince themselves that don't have the time or the opportunity to find any intimate or personal touch anyway and that they don't need it.
Mental health may influence this as well. Thoughts of not being attractive, issues with perceived body image, or not being good enough for another person to want to touch you can result in a person actively avoiding opportunities for touch.
Breakdowns of relationships, marriages, the death of a life partner or spouse, and all the grief and emotional turmoil associated with these events can cause some people to wall up and retreat away from the social world and bottle up their energy.
Also, people who have been sexually abused or assaulted may sidestep touch situations or have emotional or physical health issues that inhibit them from fully experiencing touch.
The Difference Between Being Touch Starved and Touch Hungry
There needs to be an important distinction made between a person being touch starved and touch hungry. That is, deprived of friendly, social, or platonic touch as opposed to intimate, romantic, or sexual touch.
As committed and loving as a romantic partner can be, all their cuddles, touches, and foot rubs will never be able to satisfy the longing for sexual touch experiences when a person feels deprived of sensual reciprocation or lacking fulfillment of their sexual needs.
As an overall and general approach, human beings require a balance of both types of touch to feel happy, healthy, positive, and in a great place of wellbeing. But I must highlight the difference that affectionate, caring cuddles from your mother and father will not and cannot fulfill a person's necessity for sensual and intimate body-dissolving hugs you have with a romantic partner.
The information contained above is provided for entertainment purposes only. The contents of this article are not intended to amount to advice on your personal situation and you should not rely on any of the contents of this article. Professional advice should be obtained before taking or refraining from taking any action as a result of the contents of this article. The Writer and this Website disclaim all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this article.
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