For men, it is important to discover, build, and sustain meaningful connections with our partners. It is through a deeper emotional connection that a relationship maintains the foundations for a solid and long-lasting partnership. When men typically discuss the connection and their wife or girlfriend, what is normally at the front of their minds are physical acts like cuddling, kissing, holding hands, and having sex. True, a physical connection is vital in any romantic relationship - it is one of the main features that elevate it from any other type of relationship - but building a deeper connection away from the physical is just as, if not more, important.
The following are five easy ways any man can use to start building a deeper connection with his wife or girlfriend today.
Learn to Let Go of Porn
Being able to let go is the pivotal first step the masculine can do to start building a deeper connection with the feminine. Letting go in this context is not about distancing yourself from your partner or shedding anything about who you are as an individual. It is about detaching yourself from all the ideas and fantasies you have swirling around inside your mind about sex and sexual intimacy that are sourced from television shows, movies, smut magazines, and pornography.
This isn't laying blame on men for accessing this type of adult material because pornography is so widespread and readily available on many formats, apps, websites, and electronic devices. But porn is terrible for educating people about sex and sexual relationships. What we are beginning to witness now for the first time in human history is a generation of young men and women whose experience of touch and what it is like to be intimate have been largely moulded by pornography and fantasy.
Women especially are faced with being in relationships with men who know so little about how the feminine exists in the real world because porn has been their teacher since their early teen years.
I can only imagine how tedious it would be to be on the receiving end of that every day.
Be With Her
Your woman sincerely wants you to be with her, all of her. When men stop getting a woman to do things for them, and men stop doing things to a woman (thinking that is what she wants), the window for being with them will be given a chance to open.
When a man presents a woman with a checklist of his sexual needs and what he wants to happen for him to be satisfied, all that will result is her being disconnected from you. She may genuinely want to do the things you have in your mind and share those experiences with you, but first, you must give her a platform to shine, feel confident, and allow her to feel connected to you.
One of the best ways to do this is to start developing enthusiasm and curiosity about how you would like to make a deeper and more personal connection with her. You must approach this one with honesty because women will quickly sense if it is all an act on your part.
Your attention should be drawn to promoting open communication and sensuality. Women adore affection, passion, and tenderness. By approaching her from this angle you stand a far better chance at standing out if she can see you have the skills to gift a woman your full attention and presence, while at the same time maintaining your masculine frame with the confidence to make her feel safe and the skilled touches to make her melt.
This isn't a to-do list where you are always giving, giving, giving to her. Any partner will value a balanced sharing of touch so that the roles of giver and receiver are equally interchangeable.
Mix it Up
Don't be afraid to mix things up a little. After all, they do say that variety is the spice of life.
If you are open to some constructive criticism, one of the reasons why women close themselves off sexually and lose their desire is that some men stick to the same old routine time and again. They have their favourite 'let's have sex' playbook and work through the same checklist each time.
Some men place too much pressure on a woman to have an orgasm - or multiple orgasms - before they can feel satisfied or pleased that they have done their job as a man. Mix up what you want and what you would like. Be eager to be loving, nurturing, and sensual instead of working to get a result or an outcome.
Tantric and Taoist practices are great for teaching men how to be present, truthful, and skilful lovers.
Many men feel burdened with the expectation and pressure that they should instinctively know every woman's innate and deepest desires and have the proficiency to provide what she wants. Men assume far too much with this type of thinking when in fact the easiest way is likely to simply ask her first. Asking also has the added benefit of helping the communication juices to flow.
Whether her answers to your questions are an eager 'Yes' and you set off down that path of discovery and wonder, or a helpful 'No' and you adapt your approach and expectations, you will end up at a much better place for simply opening the exchange of conversation and receiving the gift of feedback. Just be sure to have your ego switched to relax mode.
Connect With More Than Just Your Penis
The goal here is connection. Try and picture a scenario where you can step away from the goal of merely penetrating her or reaching orgasm and instead simply relish in an array of other styles of pleasure and sensation. Whilst women do enjoy penetration, they go crazy for softer pleasures as well, but they often have never experienced them fully or they aren't sure how to go about asking for them without bruising your ego.
Connecting with a woman is made much easier through sensual touch than sexual touch. It is the delicate art of touching sincerely and sensually, by slowing down, remaining present, and giving with the intent that yields the most positive responses. All this works towards creating a space of ease and relaxation with your lover.
It if helps, try seeing this type of method as one way for you to gain a better understanding of how not only how different women like different things, but also how the feminine is forever moving and fluctuating with what they desire. This helps you build a more encompassing repertoire to offer her.
By removing the emphasis of sticking your cock inside something, what can this reframing of your approach to sex help you to learn about yourself? What feelings and sensations can other parts of your body feel, aside from the area around your genitals? What types of touch do other parts of your body like best? What don't you like?
These are valuable questions because they help to expand the field of possibilities for more pleasure. In turn, she can also delight in understanding and satisfying you without her performance anxiety kicking in.
Be Different - Stand Out From the Crowd
Being open and focused in this way helps place you apart from other men, who may not be as conscious, and opens the masculine to receive greater love and connection from the feminine. When there is listening without demanding, and communication without expectation, men are much better positioned to comprehend the nuances of giving and receiving. It is from here that your woman has the opportunity to relax and flourish along with you.
The feminine is captivated by the masculine. Women want to bond with you, learn everything there is about you, and love you. To best facilitate this a man can offer her more of himself through a shared connection with the revealing of masculine emotions without fear and feelings without judgement. When you and your partner find your container of pleasure and potency, your confidence and self-esteem will take off and your life will fill with harmony and love.
Conversations on these types of things are not always easy, and a certain level of courage and clarity is required to push matters along, especially when this might be totally new territory and wildly new ideas for you.
But the outcomes can be life-changing...if you truly commit to the effort of taking that first step.
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The information contained above is provided for entertainment purposes only. The contents of this article are not intended to amount to advice on your personal situation and you should not rely on any of the contents of this article. Professional advice should be obtained before taking or refraining from taking any action as a result of the contents of this article. The Writer and Shoshin Therapies disclaim all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this article.
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