There is a simple ingredient to increasing sexual satisfaction for every man and woman: breath. Breathing is the gateway to more sensation and pleasure. Learning how to breathe more deeply lays the groundwork for any Tantric ritual, meditation practice, and yogic exercise. It is this mindful union of our body to our breath (observing how you are breathing and where you are breathing in your body) that acts similar to a natural button for our nervous system to slow down and relax.
How Poor Breathing Habits Restrict Sensation
Take a minute right now to observe your breath as you read these words. Is your breath heavy or light? Is it shallow and stuck high up at the top of your chest? Or are you holding it in without noticing you are doing so? Do your chest and lungs feel restricted and tight or open and expansive? Are your back and shoulders straight or are they hunched over?
The Importance of Breathing for Health and Wellness
Fundamentally, the deeper you can breathe, the more your body will sense and feel. When your breathing is constricted your ability for feeling your body is restricted. One of the first things I work on with any new client is their connection with their breathing. Because many of us are so busy balancing the needs and demands of modern life, we can easily become stuck in a 'fight or flight' state with our bodies, causing our breathing to be shackled to providing the most basic function that is just enough for survival. As a result, many of us are moving through life in an everlasting state of detachment from not only delicate, subtle, and pleasurable sensations, but also our body's early warning signs of pain, distress, or illness.
If you ever get the opportunity to watch a newborn baby or toddler breathe when they are sleeping, you will see that the bellies expand and retract fully in a smooth repetitive motion when they are breathing in and out. Their abdomens appear to be doing the majority of the breathwork will virtually no movement of the upper chest area.
It is only when these babies and toddlers get a little older do they begin to develop the negative habitual patterns in their bodies that many adults have. These are usually things such as sitting in uncomfortable chairs at school or reclining in front of the TV or computer screen, all of which install unconscious and inefficient movement patterns that promote poor posture and limited diaphragm use during breathing.
Whenever the human body is exposed to an unsafe or stressful situation, its emotional instinct is to close down and wall up its defences. The shoulder slumps down and inwards, the upper back hunched over, and breathing becomes short and shallow to help safeguard the body from painful or unpleasant feelings. They help make the body appear to be a lesser target, it attempts to shrink itself by not taking up too much space, not drawing attention to itself, to consume as little air as it can to get by.
A Simple Breathing Exercise for Improved Sensation and Pleasure
Relax the Mind and Open the Body
Breathing is a magical thing when you stop and think about it. It is the only bodily function that can be accomplished both consciously as well as unconsciously, as well as made completely voluntary or involuntary. Our breathing is the channel that links the mind with the body, the bridge between our conscious and unconscious states. It is an ingredient to our ongoing health and wellness, a function that if we can learn to develop and control, can improve our mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.
Through a conscious connection with our breath and adopting an intention to breathe slower, we engage the diaphragm and inflate from the belly instead of contracting the muscles located in the neck and upper rib cage. Brain activity can then actively shift from functional Beta waves into a more peaceful Alpha state. This means that when we now blend this with a soft, tender, sensual touch and connection to sexual energy during a tantric bodywork session, the babbling thoughts and processing of the mind tend to quieten down and we start to perceive and feel the softer, fainter sounds of the body.
These feelings and sensations are nothing new to any of us as they have been with us all our lives. Only because we have taken the time to slow down our breathing, become more present in our body and in our moment, and reconnect the relationship we once had, we can now see how the build-up of the 'static' was preventing the body from being fully experienced. It is from here that deeper states of connection and more full-body orgasmic experiences can be realized when we look to come back into this more unrestricted and receptive state during masturbation, sex, and intimacy with a partner.
Your Breath Can Improve Your Sexual Health
The following is a simple breathing exercise anyone can do.
This exercise is great for moving awareness to a single point of the breath, shifting away from the interference of the churning mind, and provides an anchor to return to when the mind, predictably, does float back in with its chatter.
You should do this lying down on your back, with the palms of your hands resting on your lower belly.
Softly and slowly close your eyes. Let your attention focus on the movement of your breathing as it moves in and out.
Give attention to your nose and how it moves when you inhale, and the sensation of the air as it flows through your lips when you exhale.
Allow your outward breath to go on a little longer than the breath you take in. Breathe in through your nose for 5 seconds, allowing the hands on your belly to rise upwards as you breathe deeply and your belly fills with air.
Now exhale through your mouth for 10 seconds.
Thoroughly let all of your breath out of your body on the exhale. If you need to make a noise when doing this, that is perfectly fine.
Relax your lower jaw, and allow a little space to form between your two rows of teeth.
Now simply repeat this exercise for another 5 to 10 minutes. Longer if you wish. There is nothing else you need to do. Allow your breath to enter in and out to the same count, inhaling so your belly rises and falls gently.
Try this exercise over consecutive days and you may discover you are starting to feel your body differently than you ever did before. You may begin to feel and send new or delicate sensations, your muscles may relax easier, and stress and tension may slip away from you. You may also feel some emotions rise from within you for no apparent reason, causing you to cry or laugh or both.
Relax, this is all very normal.
Stay with your breath and let whatever bubbles up do so and simply be there.
You may also note that you become more alert to your breath for the rest of your daily life. If you are feeling nervous or stressed, just observe how and where you are breathing, then aim to come back to that exercise of filling your belly on the inhale and holding it a little longer on the exhale.
One thing to keep in mind is that breathing is magical because it happens whether you focus on it or not. It is always there and always working for you. By mindfully drawing your attention regularly, you will eventually establish enhanced patterns and better habits to assist you in diving deeper into your body, developing a sturdy and secure foundation from which to explore your capacity and potential for experiencing all there is of energy, sensations, and pleasure.
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The information contained above is provided for entertainment purposes only. The contents of this article are not intended to amount to advice on your personal situation and you should not rely on any of the contents of this article. Professional advice should be obtained before taking or refraining from taking any action as a result of the contents of this article. The Writer and Shoshin Therapies disclaim all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this article.
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