In the alternative healing and new age community, have you ever encountered someone who presented themselves as a spiritual teacher, mentor, or enlightened individual at events, workshops, and even in online groups such as on Facebook? This is someone you begin spending much time with, feeling they are so wonderful, knowledgeable, and in tune with their thoughts and feelings, only to discover they were draining your energy, causing harm in your life, or wanting to push boundaries and exploit you intimately.
Signs of a Spiritual Predator: How to Spot Manipulative Behaviour
In the beginning, they may have appeared magnetic, charismatic, and genuine. However, as you get to know them better, something felt off. They could make you feel good about yourself, encourage growth and healing, be and more connected to a spiritual path, but at times, they would exhibit mean or controlling behaviour, or look to get you to do things you normally wouldn't do.
Over time, you start feeling drained or fearful whenever you spend time with them. Though you may not be aware of it, you have likely encountered a spiritual manipulator or spiritual predator.
If you've experienced such a person, you know how it can feel like they possess a mysterious power over you. In some cases,, you are drawn in by their honesty, openness, vulnerability (they always have a sympathy story), and how different they are from other men or women. In other cases, you might find yourself walking on eggshells to avoid conflicts with them or making them unhappy because of "what they might do".
Spiritual predators can be individuals, men or women, or even groups, that exploit those who have an interest in alternative healing modalities, self-discovery, healing, consciousness, or spirituality. They may attend various spiritual classes, events, festivals, or workshops. Or you may even be a part of the same spiritual or new age group online such as Facebook or Reddit.
Just because someone has the knowledge, experience, or spiritual skills, or even if they project this persona, doesn't mean they are perfect, ethical, or have your best interests at heart.
A healthy and well-integrated teacher or enlightened person will always redirect you back to yourself, honouring your perspective and boundaries. However, anyone can fall into the trap of a vampiric, narcissistic spiritual predator or manipulator, and they may not appear as you expect them to.
Beware of the Fantastic Sales Pitch
Spiritual predators and manipulators may often be very gifted communicators, be fantastic at selling themselves, their cause, and their message, and they may even apply NLP or Neuro-Linguistic Programming mind control techniques. I have written previously about NLP, fake healers, charming new age gurus, spiritual scammers, holistic wannabes, pick-up artists, and their mind control techniques here.
I personally know of at least one individual who presents an enlightened and spiritual persona in their social media feed but in reality, this online image is a million miles away from who they truly are as a person. Online it is all affirmations, energy, love, and healing. In reality, it is mind games, manipulation, exploitation, and anger. So much so that I am constantly taken aback when I see how many followers and cheerleaders this particular person has. If these people knew what I know - and I can't divulge because of legal ramifications - they would cut this person out of their lives without hesitation.
Understanding the Tactics: Unmasking the Methods of Spiritual Manipulators
Here are some ways to spot a spiritual predator and safeguard yourself from their influence.
It's Too Good to Be True
One of the most alarming aspects of a spiritual predator is how attractive and admirable they can appear. They seem to have it all together, whether it's their life, their outlook on the world, their spiritual abilities, or their overall demeanour. There is something magnetic and desirable about them.
However, beneath the surface, they are narcissists and sociopaths who struggle with deep-seated low self-esteem, and even anger. They rely on constant attention from those around them to prevent a collapse of their fragile self-image.
Pay attention to their struggle to maintain the facade of perfection they have constructed around themselves. When their hypocrisy is pointed out, or you attempt to console them empathetically, you'll witness their fear of exposing their weaknesses. A person of authority who cannot laugh at themselves or takes themselves too seriously should be approached with caution.
They Are Never Wrong
Spiritual predators often present themselves as possessors of knowledge unattainable by others. They claim to have a direct line to God, the universe, or esoteric mysteries, making them infallible and immune to debate.
If you question their ideas or challenge their authority, they become defensive, feigning disgust or hurt that you dare to question their sacred knowledge. This sense of entitlement extends to other areas of their life as well.
They fear that if they are seen as normal in any aspect of life, it will undermine their false authority in other areas. To maintain their persona, they resort to lying, manipulation, presenting a fake lifestyle online, and in the worst cases even violence to avoid personal responsibility.
Beware of individuals who are willing to change their story, and beliefs, and manipulate situations to always be right. Such people distort your understanding of reality, gaslight you, and can cause harm.
Everything is Owed to Them
Untangling narcissism in someone is challenging, even for the best mental health professionals. Narcissists believe that everything revolves around them. Regardless of who accomplishes something, they will take credit for it. Similarly, they will go to great lengths to avoid blame or make it appear they forced you to do anything, as this threatens their very existence.
In the spiritual community, their sense of specialness and superiority can reach cosmic proportions. They believe they are so enlightened that they are here to heal all and to change the world. They will twist any narrative that supports their superiority and righteousness, using it to degrade and manipulate those they dislike.
Be wary of those who consistently make excuses through cosmic fairy tales, endless positive online posts of memes and affirmations, and conspiracy theories but abandon them when convenient. Pay attention to their actions, not just their words, to uncover the truth.
There is Something Really Special About You
A common tactic employed by spiritual predators is to make you feel special. When someone flatters you, especially if it feels genuine, your guard starts to drop. In the spiritual arena, we have a natural inclination to believe we are special, as it is ingrained in our ancient myths and stories.
However, be cautious when someone positions themselves as an authority who can see something special in you that others cannot.
This is especially true in cases of spiritual sexual predators who prey on the vulnerability of young followers or vulnerable women. The manipulator makes the follower feel special by giving them time and attention, leading them to believe there is something unique about them that attracts their energy or connection, or they have at last found someone worthy of learning their gift and knowledge.
If a spiritual person or authority focuses on your perceived specialness and seeks to spend more and more time alone with you, ensure you feel comfortable with their integrity. Consider bringing a friend along until a clear sense of safety is established.
The Classic Line - Only I Can Help You
This characteristic often goes hand in hand with the belief that you are special. The spiritual predator suggests that only they can guide you and help you reach your full potential. They make you believe that if you trust them completely, and surrender your will, they will lead you to healing, growth, and enlightenment.
They may even exploit your insecurities or genuine health issues. Using these vulnerabilities, they exert control and keep you dependent on them. They blame your lack of faith or discipline for any slow spiritual or personal growth progress or ongoing physical and mental health problems.
In reality, they don't possess the power to heal you. Instead, they keep you tethered to them by dangling the possibility of healing just out of reach or long enough for them to get what they want out of you be it control, influence, money, and even sexual favours. Establish firm boundaries and seek external support if you sense any manipulation in this regard.
Do What I Say, Not What I Do
Spiritual predators employ various tools to maintain their power. Over time, their true nature begins to emerge. You may hear rumours about their misuse of power and deeds done to others, often followed by justifications from their followers.
They claim to possess a deeper connection with the divine, Gaia, or the universe, which supersedes societal norms, enabling them to navigate a unique moral compass. This provides them with a free pass to engage in toxic actions while enforcing strict rules and standards on their followers.
If you're involved with a teacher or spiritual person who adheres to a "do as I say, not as I do" approach, it is advisable to seek someone who embodies their teachings and does not justify their toxic behaviour.
How to Protect Yourself From Spiritual Manipulators
Dealing with spiritual predators, especially those with some spiritual abilities or knowledge, requires self-awareness and a solid foundation of personal power.
Knowing yourself and grounding in your own power is the most effective protection against such predators. When you are rooted in your own power, your discernment remains clear, and your intuition alerts you to any red flags.
Spiritual predators prey on your vulnerabilities, your want for change and healing, and your desire for an external saviour. Resting in your personal power minimizes their interest and influence.
Additionally, practices such as burning sage or fragrant native plants like cedar, lavender, or palo santo can help clear their energy from your space and rebalance your own energy. Cord cutting, with assistance from angels or guides, is another technique to remove the influence of a spiritually adept predator.
To protect yourself from a spiritual predator, it is crucial to physically distance yourself from them. Initially, avoid spending time with them and cease all online communications as well. You need to not engage in dialogue exchange with them. This step is essential to remove their influence from your life.
Once you have re-established your boundaries and personal power, and taken time to disengage from their teachings and worldview, you will no longer be vulnerable to their manipulations.
By reclaiming your power, you are standing up for your energy and your life. It is a courageous act that aligns with those who genuinely walk the path of love, healing, and positive intentions.
The information contained above is provided for entertainment purposes only. The contents of this article are not intended to amount to advice on your personal situation and you should not rely on any of the contents of this article. Professional advice should be obtained before taking or refraining from taking any action as a result of the contents of this article. The Writer and Shoshin Therapies disclaim all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this article.
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