It may come as a bit of a surprise, or a shock, but on average most sex lasts around 11 minutes. But 11 minutes of sweaty, heaving, pumping, and thrusting action isn't so bad, is it? It might just be when you learn that those 11 minutes also include foreplay and cuddling afterwards.
Outside of porn, where they have the luxury of multiple edits and reshoots, most normal men will ejaculate after around 3 to 5 minutes of penetrative intercourse.
I know what many people might be thinking: this is terrible.
Rest assured there is something that can be done to improve this. But men, our focus is not going to be on how to become a bigger stud, or how to do it better in bed or to learn how to rock a woman's world for 2 hours non-stop.
No, the key focus is to become aware of what you can do to last longer in bed when you have sex. To make just a few small changes, you will be able to have a longer and more pleasurable experience with your partner, you will enjoy more and you will feel more.
Also, you will give your partner the opportunity for her to experience and feel more pleasure as well and, perhaps, give her the platform to reach the heightened pleasures of a penetrative orgasm.
As with anything in the tantric space, reaching orgasm is not our goal. You should aim to work for pleasure, sensation, and connection. Go for happiness, intimacy, and bliss. This is the Tantric way. These are the underlying principles of what is known as "Tantric sex".
So here are 10 very easy tips that any man can use to help him last longer during sex.
Tip Number 1: Slow Down
Sex can be very goal-orientated for men. Men are always looking ahead and working towards climaxing as fast as possible. Men do this because sex feels good and that big orgasm at the end has to be even better so why delay greater pleasure?
Slow things down. Don't be in a hurry to rush things. Don't be so eager to cum. Take things at half speed.
Don't be so quick to penetrate. And when you do, don't thrust so hard and fast, build things up gradually.
Tip Number 2: Don't Focus on Orgasm
Take your mind away from cumming and wanting/needing to cum.
Appreciate and enjoy the time you are spending connected, you inside her. Feel, sense, and focus on the sensation of what she feels like around you.
Tip Number 3: Spoon Her
Being the big spoon to her little spoon can surprisingly help you last longer. Simply lie down, spoon, and enter her. Now do nothing. Let your bodies hold space and move when it feels right and natural. Sexual energy will be present and guide you. Be open to it and let it move you when it is ready.
Tip Number 4: Take Turns to Touch and Massage Each Other
Sexual energy flows with connection and touch. Be intimate, caring, and loving, and touch each other. All over. Caress everything. Don't be afraid to be sexual with your touch. Take turns by arousing or massaging your partner. Use all parts of your body and open all of your senses.
Tip Number 5: Kiss Long and Passionately
Good kissing takes practice and time. Kissing is also an art. Being able to kiss your partner slow, long and deep, barely moving at all, will bring you closer to them and form an intimate bond between you both.
You can put so much of yourself into a kiss.
Take your time with kissing. Vary the speed, and mix up the movements. Explore with your lips and tongue.
Tip Number 6: Switch the Sex Roles Around
Most times with sex it is men who are playing the leading and dominant role. They play the active and lead character and they are often on top and in charge. This is all good but let's mix it up. Take the opportunity to switch roles and be passive.
Give your partner the role of pacesetter and sex director. Let her control the pace and the movement.
Hey, you could even try some new positions with this as well.
Tip Number 7: Don't Cum - Breathe Instead
I know, easier said than done.
Yes, men are designed to ejaculate and spread their seed far and wide. But try charging your male essence for longer and not be so hasty to discharge your energy and life force. When you ejaculate, you lose energy. And once this happens it is game over, roll over and go to sleep.
Slow things down by taking some deep, controlled breaths. Be aware of your breathing and feel it going down on the inhale and out on the exhale. Do some training with your PC muscles as these will help prevent not only premature ejaculation but also hasty ejaculation. If you want to become a tantric sex guru, it is these exercises that will allow you to become a multi-orgasmic man.
Tip Number 8: Spread Your Sexual Pressure Away From Your Penis
Sex for men is full of excitement. When the excitement reaches a certain point, the urge to let go and discharge is immense. And there certainly is nothing wrong with this. Sex is a fantastic discharge of stress and tension.
Instead of discharging and ejaculating too soon, try spreading the pressure of sexual tension and the pressure you feel building up inside your loins through your body instead. Imagine it as a moving thing that you can control. And when you do move it, let every part of your body enjoy the feeling and the bliss it gives.
You can do this any time during sex. You can even do it when you are masturbating.
Tip Number 9: Play with Sexual Energy
Tantra is all about sexual energy and connecting with that energy. Learn to be aware of this energy and tap into it. Open yourself to sensation and touch, and feel everything through your entire body and not simply your lingam.
Forget everything else about sex and just connect with the energy.
Tip Number 10: Consider a Tantric Lingam Massage
When you perform a lingam massage, whether on yourself or a partner, the goal is to observe and experience pleasure in a state that is almost meditative. Regular practice of tantric methods like lingam or yoni massage can help improve your libido, reduce your stress, and explore your sexuality in a healthy way.
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The information contained above is provided for entertainment purposes only. The contents of this article are not intended to amount to advice on your personal situation and you should not rely on any of the contents of this article. Professional advice should be obtained before taking or refraining from taking any action as a result of the contents of this article. The Writer and Shoshin Therapies disclaim all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this article.
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